WRITING

I liliek to coke in the July coz is teh best of the bananas

I have tried writing this post so many times, but for one reason or another I keep stopping half way through, or it gets stuck in my mind and doesn’t actually come out onto the page. Recently the one thing my mind seems hell bent on mulling over is how terrible human beings can be, which is sad really because for every horrible person there is out there, there is an amazing person to even the field. 

It amazes me constantly how stupid and selfish and completely unaware people can be of others. For instance, I felt so much safer behind a trolley in the shopping centre the other day because teenage kids were just walking and bumping into anyone who didn’t get out of their way. And then how selfish some people can be when they will tread over anyone in their way to advance themselves rather than to help or work with someone else to get a better result. 

I have been desirous to have a rant about the Adelaide ameture theatre scene and how selfish some people can be, but I have never felt like my comments would be taken with ease, because they never are in this industry. People forget just how integral a solid team member can be in an ensemble. Or how working as a team can make the show better. People decide to defy the director, or not listen to what others have to say and believe their vision is the only one that matters. Since when did this industry which I fell in love with so long ago, entail the bitterness and destruction of ego and selfishness. I agree there is a need for ego in the arts, but there is also a need for humbleness, which I try to hold onto as much as possible.

The worst thing, although, is when artists burn bridges with you, and then expect your forgiveness when all of a sudden you are doing something they want to be a part of, yet if you say something that burns a bridge with them, it can almost never be repaired…

This is what brings me to the title of my post. You see, regardless of the crap that happens, or the issues that we all go through as individuals and in friendships, its the people who really matter that stick by you, listen to you, talk you out of things which are stupid, and generally make you forget all the weight on your shoulders. 

I have two immensely special friends who I just happened to drop by after a bad night and they absolutely lifted my spirits. Its not every day that you find a pair of people who just make you smile, or the conversation just flows, and anything you could say or do would just be outright accepted. I almost consider them two of my greatest friends, because along the way I have lost a lot of people who have meant the world to me at one stage, but the effort, on one or both sides, or even the general disagreements of life, have torn us apart.

I am really happy to have these two in my life! 

There are a number of people out there, who may be selfish, or stupid, but have good hearts, and I don’t want to say that everyone in theatre is a ‘diva’ because every in life can be a diva at times. But life is worth sharing with the people who matter, and doing things you love. I have come to realise that I do want to work in this industry, regardless of anything that could be deemed ‘bitchy’ because while I have met some people I never clicked with, or have had bad relationships with, I have also met some of my best friends through theatre! 

Why does it feel like I am the only one making sacrifices?

So last night I was awake at 1AM and Gus turned over and started cuddling me. After saying something about clothes and pegs, he then proceeded to nuzzle my neck, and still asleep he whispered to me, ‘so happy right now’.